PARENTING IN DIASPORA

    “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and      acceptable, and perfect, will of God.  (Rom 12:2)”

Christian families are entrusted with the great task of showing the world how the home is supposed to be: we are the salt of the world, and a city set on a hill that cannot be hidden.

Leaving home for a foreign land should not be seen as a challenge but an opportunity to show Christ, love and good examples to others around us. As Africans (especially Nigeria like I know), our culture is one that supports the home structure as written in the bible. This includes parent-children relationship which is full of respect, responsibility, love and discipline. Most cultures outside of our shores are not like ours; they are either adulterated or completely neglect the God- ordained order in the home.

Our home and relationship should depict us as Christians, just like we cannot hide our accents that when we speak it shows who we are and where we come from. We should not neglect our moral and spiritual standards for transformations that negate the word of God. We are to uphold our vigilance and persistence in raising our children. We also need to help them understand their godly uniqueness and positive difference in the society we are.

       Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it (Pro 22:6). Parents should lead by example. They need to respect and not look down on each other so as not to send wrong messages to the children. When they do this, they gain their children’s confidence and love.

       Children  should also  be engaged in chores. We, as parents in Diaspora should not spoil the kids by not training them in domestic activities, simply because we have the money and the necessary machinery in place. We never can tell the situations the children might find themselves in the future; therefore, it is required of us to train them adequately.

       Parenting should be out of love and not of pride. It is not what we want them to be but the plans of God for their lives that matter.  Remember that we are just custodians of God’s heritage (Psa 127:3-Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward).

      Discipline is one aspect that many parents in Diaspora fail. We tend to forget how we were brought up by our own parents simply because we have changed location. Spare the rod and spoil the child, a meat not well fried will rot in few days. Pro 22:5 says “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him”.  We as parents should not hesitate to use the rod when it is necessary. The Western world while avoiding child abuse tends to neglect discipline and this in most cases is evident in the imbalanced teenagers and adults produced. The use of the rod should not be often as kids tend to develop resistance towards it; nevertheless it is a godly form of chastisement. Parents should also talk to their children more and always be their friend, build a friendly relationship with them and they will tell you all you need to know.

       Parenting is a spiritual thing and should be viewed in a spiritual manner. Let’s always pray for our children that they will never deviate from God’s principles and expectations from them. And we should always remember that the place we reside is not to dictate how we raise our children. Trust God, and He will continue to lead and direct us.

Folake Monehin Ayandokun.